Please don't call the LAW!

**When I was about 5, I stole a pack of gum from Wal-mart. I hid it in the back seat of my mom's Gremlin {seriously} under the floor mat. I would get a piece out each time we would get into the car and she never noticed. I felt guilty. But apparently not guilty enough to 'not' chew it.

{google picture - but this looks just like ours - we were a classy bunch.}

**At about the age of 6, our local Fred's was going out of business. They had this HUGE bin full of miscellaneous items - mostly costume-like jewelry. I found a single earring in the bottom. It was a purple, clip-on, ball earring. And when I say purple - I mean the kind that they squeezed grapes into. I really thought I was doing no harm and pocketed it. Really I did! haha - I mean, come on! How were they going to sell a single earring!? I took it because I thought I could make something from it. I still remember what I thought I could make {but I'm going to leave that part out of the story - okay?} Oh man, when my mom saw that I stole the earring, I got beat {literally!} Stealing was definitely not going to be the business I got into. Not after that!

**When I was a freshman in high school, I was on a 'date' with a real winner who brought along his best friend. The 2 were pledging for 2 different high school fraternities. The friend {not my date,} had 2 options of getting out of 'hell night' - steal the moose head off the moose lodge or steal the January Street sign {which was in the middle of the projects.} Honestly, it was much safer to steal the moose - but he thought it would be easier to get the street sign since they have a camera on the moose. Now you guys have to know me - the whole time I was preaching how they were going to Hell and taking me with them. And they should feel guilt for what they were doing. I had no choice. Take me home first . . . . I said it all. My 6 year old self was telling me how my mom would beat my 14 year old self - just much harder. I remember praying so hard. When they got out of the truck and got the sign, I locked both doors and wouldn't let them back in. Finally after they swore they would take me home, I let them back in. But Cody, wanted to look at his ticket out of torture and went to the local park to gape and goggle over his new prized possession. This is the same park the cops were patrolling constantly because of some not-so-good-behavior going on at night there - prostitutes, sexual activity and same sex should sum that scenario up for you. Just guess what happened? Yeah, busted. And took to jail. Just know, I got into the worse trouble out of all 3 of us. AND I was the one begging to leave me out of their fun. Another fat lesson learned.

**I've been pulled over 12 times - but have only gotten 2 tickets. I'm not bragging - seriously! I just got the right cop or trooper each time that believed whatever I said. The funniest one was when I was speeding down the highway towards home. When the trooper got me, I jumped out, ran to the other side of the car, opened the door and squatted and peed. Really, I did. It worked. He laughed once he figured out what I was doing on the other side of the car. AND then he tells me that was considered indecent exposure. I asked if he saw anything. Of course he didn't! So, what was indecent about it???? I was so close to home, about to pee on myself. He stopped me - so I had to go somewhere!? Right? Whatever, it worked. Should I have been speeding - NO. Once I had kids, I really started slowing down. Really! But let me say, that every excuse I ever gave was truthful. It pays to tell the truth people. {hehe!}

**But my newest law breaking moment - Several weekends ago, it was bunco night. Bunco was in the middle of Nowhere City! Lucky for me, an awesome friend told me to meet her at work and she would just drive. While waiting for her in the parking lot, I noticed all these spikey, seed pods in the parking lot. Once Jamie got out, I asked her if she had a bag in her car - I wanted these pods! Of course she did. We ran around the few cars left parked picking up the pods. I noticed she was in more of a hurry than me. She slipped it in that we ought to hurry before the guard sees us.

"Uhmm, what? Did you say 'Guard?'"

"Yeah, he patrols the VA parking lot - I think this might be illegal."

haha!! "AHHH - Quick - get all that you can!!!!!!!!"

Jumped in the car as soon as we saw him drive to our area!

Such a lawbreaker.

And I have no real idea what I'm going to do with these. haha!

okay people - tell me what you have done so I don't feel so alone in my jail-bird ways! If you are brave enough to blog about it, I want to see the link in my comments!!!!

*******disclaimer - I don't want to read about deaths or kidnappings or anything that shouldn't be in my comments or in a blog post!?! Got it?!