Tuesday, July 28, 2009

So, I'm ready to talk . . .

About what {?} you ask? About one of the most embarrassing moments of my adult life - which is saying a lot, because I have a bunch of them! It is definitely one of those incredibly chawed moments that I'm trying so hard to forget. And though the details are hazy, I still know it happened and I cringe every time I think about it! I know that we all have had something happen to us that we will continually relive in our minds - but this time . . . oh Lord, this time . . . I want to forget so bad I can't stand myself!

I guess you want me to tell you the story now that I've set it up like that, don't ya'? Ahhhh, here goes . . .

Blissdom of 09 was in February. I went. Met a lot of folks in person. I've said before how I really hate social situations and this was one of them that I didn't do very well with. There were so many people. I bit my fingernails down past the quicks because I was so nervous about attending. I don't bite my nails - haven't in years! I was that tore up. Thankfully I knew Nester and Emily. And I say I know them . . . we ate breakfast one time before on their way out of Tennessee - I guess that means I know them?! Right?

Anyhoodle, the last night we were there, we all decided to go out to eat. Since I was the only one that technically lives in the Nashville area, I threw out some suggestions that were original to our area - Such as the Aquarium. {Everybody remembers that story of the kids - right?} Well, that is where we went. Nester, Emily, Jen, Kimba, Rhoda, Melissa and Sandy. Oh and me! Since there were so many, we split up in vehicles. Emily drove and I drove.

This is where the embarrassment starts -

Kimba, Jen and Rhoda started walking to my van - aka: the "Grocery Getter" - and I was telling them how we are going to have to remove the car seats and throw them in the back. No problem - we can do it?! First off, it took several minutes to "figure out" how to remove them. You know you don't strap them in with the seat belt anymore. Guys, I'm married - that's his job . . . to tend to the carseats. To put his manly grasp on them. You know - make them completely impossible to remove grasp. The same grasp he screws the lids on to the kids cups that I have to leave in the sink for him to open when he gets home before I can put the jokers in the dishwasher grasp?! But that wasn't the "chawed" moment.

The chawed moment was when we finally did get them out and the $892 worth of food that came spilling out of them! That's right . . . I'm one of those moms! I was mortified! If I could have turned back time, I would have!

Seriously people, there had to be 6 large order of fries. A box or 2 of Cheeze-its. Chunks of chicken nuggets. Raindbow goldfish - oh, the goldfish! I probably could have fed a family in China for a year! And that was only 2 car seats! I have 2 more that we didn't have to remove praise Jesus! It was soooo bad, that Rhoda used a cloth diaper to sit on! Yeah, that bad! Trust me when I say that it was some nasty looking trail mix!

I've said before that when we were looking for a van to buy, we actually were looking for used. But they all looked used - so we went new! I remember thinking how I never would let me kids eat in my van! HA - well, they didn't till January of this year - it was when all the therapies started and we just didn't have a choice.

Now, reread that last paragraph . . . . I said January! Blissdom was in February. That's right - in one months time my kids created the biggest mess ever! Did I learn a lesson - YES! I vacuum that joker out monthly now! Remove the carseats and everything! It was horrible! And I have been scarred for life as I'm sure Kimba, Rhoda and Jen have as well! Next time I will so be prepared if someone wants to ride in my van. If I'm not, we will HAVE to ride in someone else's vehicle!

Thanks Kimba for the help I needed last night! You rock! I'm shocked you even responded after riding in my dumpster on wheels! haha!!! And honestly, I wasn't going to link to any of these fabulous women because I was hoping they have forgotten about the ride and me for that matter!!! Maybe they won't see any clicks on their stat counter from my address to even come visit to read this post to even be reminded of my chawed moment! Please, please, please - I pray!

So, in honor of my chawed moment, I would like to repost this video. Because I'm determined for it to never get this bad again!


tale of many cities said...

OMGGGG kim.. that is just TOO DANG FUNNY!!!! i was rollin'.. the hubby was like, "what are you watching?!"
i especially love the 'kicking the back of the seat' !!!

Kodi said...

Oh girl! You are too cute. I don't even have a child yet, but my car is atrocious! I remember when my boss took me to lunch one time awhile back I was like, "Can you drive, I'm low on gas?" hahaha

Jo said...

To hilarious!!

Kelly said...


Kimba said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I am dying over here! I cannot believe that this is so clearly burned into your brain!

I know you're not looking for a bunch of "Oh don't worry about it." But seriously. Let me try and put your mind at ease just a bit.

I live in CONSTANT fear that I'm going to have to unexpectedly give someone a ride in the family truckster. I would be beyond horrified if I was forced to reveal that I am , in fact, a total slob when it comes to my van. It is so full of french fries, used tissues, goldfish (I swear those buggers multiply) and lord only knows what else.

If I were forced to remove my carseats? THE HORRORS you might find there! You would totally be sitting on a plastic bag or something else to protect your rear. We have had so many spilled drinks that haven't been cleaned properly, I think the seats would probably stay in place without the restraints. Seriously.

Now, I can't speak for Rhoda, but Jen has 5 kids, for pete's sake! I'm willing to bet that she doesn't even remember this. I know I didn't until I read your story.

But now, I do remember thinking "Now this is my kind of gal!"


Kimba said...

And in case you're wondering, I got some clicks which is how I knew your post was up. :)


Susie from Bienvenue said...

Oh my Lordie!! I thought you were going to say it was me at Blissdom. I was the one that was your same height and I said Oh how I love your blog and gave you a huge hug...only to find out later that you didnt do hugs. I was so {chawed} I wanted to just die. I still talk about that night and Im so sorry. Down this deep south, we think we have to hug and the older you are {kiss}. Im glad Im from the younger generation and do not kiss strangers. Im sure you are glad about that too,Ha! Im so sorry about that hug but I still love and read your blog everyday,smile. Next time we meet I will just greet you with a big ole' smile~

Queenneenee said...

OMG you don't do HUGS!!!!! oh Kim.......

Jen - Balancing Beauty and Bedlam said...

Kimba's right....five kids I have and girlfriend...you know I have a Mcdonald's drive through right in my back seat. In fact, just last week when we were in WI, relatives needed to drive with me. Now, we had no car seats, but when I went to get in the back seat (after an 18 hour drive through the night w/all the kids), I climbed in and there was gum stuck in the cup holders, boogers wiped on the side of the seat and more nastiness than you'd ever imagine. SO, did I remember how bad your car was? Nope...I have my own to worry about. It just felt like home (only I was really happy that I didn't have all those car seats anymore. ;)
LOVE YA!! and glad we could help in the fact that you now have a clean vehicle.

Lynda said...

Did you know that you are just to darn cute for words :)

chesley said...

you are so stinkin' funny! i swore i'd never have a minivan...now i do. only ours was used b/c we bought it from an older couple & it looked brand new. i, too, am weird about eating in the car, but with 4 kids there are some things you have to relinquish control of!!

Robin said...

New here, came over from Westra World...this made me giggle. Although I'm an empty - nester I so remember those days of messy vans! One day, and it'll seem like just a minute, you'll have a car all to yourself...it's not all that great :)
hugs~ wonderful blog!
All Things Heart and Home

Susan said...

That looks like my car!! I think I clean it out once a week just so they can mess it up again!

Tammie said...

Love the video and can totally relate to the suprises you find when you remove a carseat. How does food get under there????

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Ok, so I am a little late to comment here but GIRL, if I had been in YOUR car, I would not have thought a think about it. I am still driving the same exact mini van we had when my son was born. And he is 9. Can you imagine the horrors that lurk in our seats? We even have VANILLA ICE CREAM on our van's ceiling. I kid you not. Our dog has barfed and pee'd in there.

Here is a story for you, I should cut and paste this for my blog because it is that bad, or maybe not for the same reason. I usually have a towel on the passenger seat because of my dogs incessant barfing on that very seat. We have cleaned it a million times but it REEKS. I'm just saying, it is bad.

So anyhoo...the other day we drove out to a friend's property but I forgot to put a towel out and long story short, I was the one sitting in the passenger seat. When we got there our friend's Dalmation WOULD NOT stop hanging around my rump. You know that experience? So bad. I kept making excuses like I had pb&j's in my purse (WHAT? don't all moms have those in their purse?).

Anyway, the dog WOULD.NOT. leave me alone. I was chawed, totally.

Anyways, when we got back to the car at the end of the day, the dog followed me and started SNIFFING that seat! It was then I remembered the DOG BARF and FINALLY could tell our friends why my rump was so fascinating.

Ok, do you feel better now? I really loved meeting you at Blissdom and so glad we all got to hang out. Let's do it again next time, eh? Now that we know none of us have good smelling leather seats in our mercedes mom mobiles.

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha...this is why I can't help but keep coming back to your blog! I love your humor!!!

Keep it coming :o)

Blessings & Aloha!

Robin said...

Girl, you inspired me to do my own "chawed" post....so here it is....


You are hilarious and so stinkin' cute!


Robin :o)

Bless My Mess! said...

Oh Girl...you know how I LOVE this video. Thanks for sharing it again :)