Monday, March 17, 2008

deeply committed - often flawed - mother of four . . .

That is the title of the editor's note in our local "Rutherford Parent" magazine. It's just a free magazine that is in every doctor's office across the county and I always pick one up because of all the "stuff" you find in them. When I was reading Mrs. Susan Day Swindell's "note" it really hit me.

Before kids, I was a slight perfectionist and I was really bad about expecting things to go "my way." Now, I knew that once kids came into the picture, "my picture," that would all change. And I was completely okay with that. I still didn't know if I wanted to be a "stay-at-home" kinda mom - that might explain why I couldn't tell my boss that I wasn't coming back to work {Hudson was 13 months old before I told him!} ha - God, bless his soul, but I think he knew before I did that I wasn't coming back. But as I read this article, it really explained so much of my feelings as a mother. At the end, she said-
Raising kids is sloppy. It is one, fast, bumpy ride in a messy car. It's a life filled with spills, drills, miscommunication, tummy aches and activities that never seem to end. It is time away from YOU. But it IS you.

For too long I have wrestled with how to manage everything without losing my wits and with grace and fortitude. I've tried to be a straight line when life, in fact, is a scrawl. And because I'm in it for the long run, and because I love my family, I suppose I just have to accept that love is in fact, one huge, gigantic imperfection . . . called life.
For all those who ask me "how I do it" - that's it, I accept it for what it is. That's why I'm happy {most of the time} and satisfied with all the craziness in my life, because it is my life. I was never guaranteed a perfect life, but I wasn't promised a bad one either!!

By the way - this time next week - I will be a mother of four! Six days and some hours to go before this egg hatches!! Whoohoo!!


Holly said...

I can't wait to see pictures of that baby girl when she gets here! Great post, KIm!

bee'nme said...

Bless you sweet Kim - you are a real inspiration! I was never able to have children of my own, but I so value and appreciate the sacrifice and fortitude and faith it takes to raise them well - rest well knowing that you are walking in a worthy calling with benefits and blessings that can never be fully counted this side of heaven...

Your new paintings are WAY cute, BTW - you're definitely grooving...and IMO you're not chanelling Mary Engelbreit either, though I share your distaste for copy-cat artwork. You've got a fresh look that's all Kim!

Hang in there girl - take care!

Hugs and blessings,
Becky S.

Rachel said...

wow! That is so right. You gotta go with the flow or you will go crazy! As long as you know and accept that you CAN enjoy life! You rock girlfriend and VERY soon to be mother of 1-2-3-4!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to meet Miss Emsley Grace by this time next week either!

Melissa Santanastasio said...

i totally agree with you. we all know where we want to go in life. we just have to take a few more people on the trip with us. the beauty is when you get there you have company!!!life is better with babies! count'm down