As of tomorrow, that is how far along I am with this "final" pregnancy. Here lately, I have questioned if I really am through having children?! After this week, there is no doubt - I'M DONE!! Did you hear me? Finished!! Write it in stone!! This family is complete - once Emsley arrives!
You know, it's not because there will now be 4 kids {and that is a big family!} It isn't because 4 was always my magic number when it came to how many I wanted. It isn't because the other kiddos around here are driving me nuts - actually it is the complete opposite. Don't get me wrong, they drive me nuts, but only in small snippets!! But, I'm already having anxiety about leaving them here - without me, with only Lonnie and the "whatever army" that helps - when I go to the hospital!!!
Actually, the anxiety is why I don't want anymore children! See, tomorrow morning is the big, dreaded, glucose test. The 1 hour one. The one I always fail. Every time. Why is tomorrow going to be any different?! 'Cause it's NOT!! I'm going to fail and then be tortured through the HUGE, half a day test - you know the one where they basically cut your wrist and drain 18 pints of blood every hour for 4 hours!?! That would probably be less painful if they did do it that way!! People, it's the beginning of the end!! All the mean stuff they do to a pregnant gal starts tomorrow!! Oh, how I dread this!!!
I normally enjoy being pregnant - so much that it wouldn't bother me to wait till this kid drives out in a Honda in about 16 years. Okay - maybe not that long - BUT then again I am dreading this c-section, maybe I could wait that long!! I've yet {with any of my pregnancies} to beg the doctor to "please take this baby . . . I'm miserable!!" I mean - come on - like you ain't going to be up and down all night long the first several weeks that kid comes home from the hospital!! I get more sleep the last week of pregnancy than I do the first 3 weeks of life!! To me - that is miserable! I know you all are guilty, checking to see if your newborn is breathing every 30 minutes or so!! So, even when the baby sleeps, I can't because I'm too busy stressing over if my baby is sleeping soundly or is in some kind of coma!!!
But my anxiety lies mostly with this stupid C-SECTION!! I'm scared to death!!! I knew with the twins that it was probably inevitable - I mean, a transverse baby is only coming out one way!! I'm so much better with the "unknown" - but this time it is "known" - I know what to expect and it scares the crap out of me!! I think I need a nerve pill just thinking about it! Yeah, I don't think I can do this again . . . there is just no way!!
It's a good thing - Lonnie has his consultation scheduled - snip, snip - hehehe!! Thanks for listening to these ramblings of a crazy woman!! I'll let you all know the results of this test in a few days!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
28 weeks . . .
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5 comments:
Dont stress about the blood test just dont do like me I was so mortified that I forgot the appointment and scarfed down mcdonalds before hand. My sugar was so high they wanted to admit me immediately. I did not have the heart to tell them i ate that junk so i lied and agreed to the do-over and yes it is miserable. but look at all the joy the suffering brings. baby Emsley. be strong!!!
12 weeks. Scheduled c-section probably 10 more weeks. You are strong girl! You can do this. As for the c-section...remind yourself that if you can get through this one you will NEVER have to do it again. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
I feel for you Sweetie. Try to keep your chin up.....it will all work out OK alright.....muster up whatever support you can for the last few weeks and for how ever long you can after number 4 is born. Wish I could come help you out. ((hugs)) Rosie
I am sorry it is so stressful , that's why I stopped at two , so doing double that , you should be proud, I can't imagine what it feels like for a c section or to carry two babies at once kudos,but a safe arrival is most important. I begged so much to get my last pregnancy over with , I can easily handle the baby out much better than in, but you couldn't pay me to do it again.
I hope somehow you pass your test, it could happen right?
Will be praying for you ~ this will all be over before you know it and that sweet baby girl will be here. Remember when I failed mine?? It was because I ate 2 slices of that cheesecake Chad made on that tv show (I had to test it!!) but I didn't think if I ate it the night before it would count. SO eat light ....
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